Why You Feel So Compelled To Make Resolutions Every Single Year, Even If You Fail
A new year. A new school year. A new week. Mental health experts say our brains are naturally drawn to fresh starts, wired to find motivation in new beginnings. These moments act like a psychological reset button, nudging us toward self-reflection, habit-building and behavior change. Yet despite making resolutions year after year, many of us struggle to stick with them. Why do we keep coming back for more?Here’s why we crave resolutions and how to harness them in a way that actually boosts productivity and keeps momentum going, helping you feel more accomplished all year long.Why Our Brain Is Drawn To Making ResolutionsThough the start of a new year has long been tied to making resolutions, there’s more behind the tradition than just cultural habit. “For many, fresh starts feel hopeful,” said Jennifer Birdsall, a board-certified, licensed clinical psychologist and chief clinical officer at ComPsych. “Psychologically, they allow people to release the baggage of past experiences, including failures, and set forth on goals with renewed energy and optimism.”This ties into what psychologists call the fresh start effect. When a clear milestone, like a new year, a birthday or the start of a new semester, gives us the sense of turning the page, it helps us mentally separate our past self from our future self, motivating us to break old habits and approach change with a bit of extra momentum.Resolutions can also give your brain a boost. There are actually psychological benefits to making goals, even if you don’t follow through on them. Simply setting resolutions can help you feel a greater sense of control. “This is especially important right now given how much uncertainty people experience in today’s volatile social, political and economic climate,” Birdsall said. Alivia Hall, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director at LiteMinded Therapy, noted that just picturing a future version of ourselves, one who feels healthier, more grounded and more intentional, activates the brain’s reward system, triggering a dopamine boost.“The anticipation alone can create a sense of energy and momentum before we’ve taken a single step,” she explained.Why Resolutions Often Don’t StickMany of us start the year with the best intentions, only to find our goals slipping away a few months in.One reason, according to Hall, is that we often approach goal-setting with an all-or-nothing mindset, viewing success as binary: either you succeed or fail. So when someone skips a single workout or misses a day of journaling, the brain quickly convinces them they’ve completely blown it. “That harsh, all-or-nothing lens can make people give up on their goals entirely, instead of seeing it as just a small setback they can recover from,” she explained.Another common pitfall is relying on willpower. “Early on, motivation runs high because the brain is lit up by novelty and reward anticipation. But once that dopamine surge fades, sheer discipline often isn’t enough to sustain change,” Hall said. Without structure, environmental cues or a deeper connection to our values, goals can start to feel less like inspired choices and more like chores. “Psychologically, this creates friction between intention and behavior — which is why so many resolutions quietly start to fizzle by February or March,” she added.AscentXmedia via Getty ImagesIt's not your fault: your brain is hardwired to set goals and then quit.How To Really Accomplish A Resolution, Once And For AllWhat we need to be mindful of is falling into a cycle of constantly setting new resolutions, enjoying that dopamine boost, and then quickly abandoning those goals. Here are some tips for sticking to a goal long-term when you start to fall off:Do a self-audit before creating your resolution.“I’m a big proponent of doing a self-audit prior to making resolutions or setting goals, as it encourages a more structured and intentional approach to personal growth by reflecting on one’s strengths and weaknesses, as well as one’s accomplishments and growth opportunities,” Birdsall said. Taking time to look back at what you’re most proud of, what may have held you back and how closely you’ve been living your values can help clarify where you want to focus your energy next and which goals will feel most meaningful to pursue.Anchor your resolutions to your values.“Attune to the aspect of the goal that taps into your motivation,” said Lorain Moorehead, a licensed clinical social worker and therapy and consultation practice owner. So if the end result of finishing a marathon doesn’t excite you, maybe what does is the value of improving your physical health. “The motivation that is there when the goal is initially set can wear off, especially as you become tired or the goal becomes challenging or draining,” she said. But when you stay connected to the deeper why behind your goal, it becomes much easier to keep going, even when the momentum dips.Set micro goals to build self-trust.“Break goals into the smallest possible steps, so small they almost feel too easy,” said Ellen Ottman, founder and licensed therapist at Stillpoint Therapy Collective.For example, instead of running 10 miles per week, start with putting on your running shoes and walking outside three times a week, as completing even tiny goals triggers dopamine, which boosts both motivation and confidence. Form connections with like-minded people.Form connections with other goal-setters who can offer support, encouragement or feedback along the way.“Achieving something can be lonely,” Moorehead said. “People can diminish the goal if they don’t understand the process, so it can be helpful to receive support from others who are committed to a goal.” As a way to foster community, join a group of people practicing the same skill or who have already tackled similar goals.If you falter, reset your resolution and keep going.Some 92% of people fail to achieve their goals, so if you’ve fallen off track partway through the year, you’re not alone. The good news is that it’s never too late to reset without feeling like you’ve failed.“Progress rarely happens in straight lines, so the most powerful thing you can do when you lose momentum is to reset with kindness,” Ottman said. “Shame tends to freeze us, while curiosity and self-compassion help us move forward.”Instead of trying to catch up or scrapping your goal altogether, try reworking it. If your original goal was to read more, make it smaller and more specific, like reading one page a day. “Small, consistent wins rebuild trust and confidence in your ability to follow through,” Ottman said, “creating the true foundation for lasting change.”
It's not your fault: your brain is hardwired to set goals and then quit.
A new year. A new school year. A new week. Mental health experts say our brains are naturally drawn to fresh starts, wired to find motivation in new beginnings.
These moments act like a psychological reset button, nudging us toward self-reflection, habit-building and behavior change. Yet despite making resolutions year after year, many of us struggle to stick with them. Why do we keep coming back for more?
Here’s why we crave resolutions and how to harness them in a way that actually boosts productivity and keeps momentum going, helping you feel more accomplished all year long.
Why Our Brain Is Drawn To Making Resolutions
Though the start of a new year has long been tied to making resolutions, there’s more behind the tradition than just cultural habit.
“For many, fresh starts feel hopeful,” said Jennifer Birdsall, a board-certified, licensed clinical psychologist and chief clinical officer at ComPsych. “Psychologically, they allow people to release the baggage of past experiences, including failures, and set forth on goals with renewed energy and optimism.”
This ties into what psychologists call the fresh start effect. When a clear milestone, like a new year, a birthday or the start of a new semester, gives us the sense of turning the page, it helps us mentally separate our past self from our future self, motivating us to break old habits and approach change with a bit of extra momentum.
Resolutions can also give your brain a boost. There are actually psychological benefits to making goals, even if you don’t follow through on them. Simply setting resolutions can help you feel a greater sense of control.
“This is especially important right now given how much uncertainty people experience in today’s volatile social, political and economic climate,” Birdsall said.
Alivia Hall, a licensed clinical social worker and clinical director at LiteMinded Therapy, noted that just picturing a future version of ourselves, one who feels healthier, more grounded and more intentional, activates the brain’s reward system, triggering a dopamine boost.
“The anticipation alone can create a sense of energy and momentum before we’ve taken a single step,” she explained.
Why Resolutions Often Don’t Stick
Many of us start the year with the best intentions, only to find our goals slipping away a few months in.
One reason, according to Hall, is that we often approach goal-setting with an all-or-nothing mindset, viewing success as binary: either you succeed or fail. So when someone skips a single workout or misses a day of journaling, the brain quickly convinces them they’ve completely blown it.
“That harsh, all-or-nothing lens can make people give up on their goals entirely, instead of seeing it as just a small setback they can recover from,” she explained.
Another common pitfall is relying on willpower. “Early on, motivation runs high because the brain is lit up by novelty and reward anticipation. But once that dopamine surge fades, sheer discipline often isn’t enough to sustain change,” Hall said.
Without structure, environmental cues or a deeper connection to our values, goals can start to feel less like inspired choices and more like chores. “Psychologically, this creates friction between intention and behavior — which is why so many resolutions quietly start to fizzle by February or March,” she added.
AscentXmedia via Getty Images
How To Really Accomplish A Resolution, Once And For All
What we need to be mindful of is falling into a cycle of constantly setting new resolutions, enjoying that dopamine boost, and then quickly abandoning those goals. Here are some tips for sticking to a goal long-term when you start to fall off:
Do a self-audit before creating your resolution.
“I’m a big proponent of doing a self-audit prior to making resolutions or setting goals, as it encourages a more structured and intentional approach to personal growth by reflecting on one’s strengths and weaknesses, as well as one’s accomplishments and growth opportunities,” Birdsall said.
Taking time to look back at what you’re most proud of, what may have held you back and how closely you’ve been living your values can help clarify where you want to focus your energy next and which goals will feel most meaningful to pursue.
Anchor your resolutions to your values.
“Attune to the aspect of the goal that taps into your motivation,” said Lorain Moorehead, a licensed clinical social worker and therapy and consultation practice owner.
So if the end result of finishing a marathon doesn’t excite you, maybe what does is the value of improving your physical health. “The motivation that is there when the goal is initially set can wear off, especially as you become tired or the goal becomes challenging or draining,” she said. But when you stay connected to the deeper why behind your goal, it becomes much easier to keep going, even when the momentum dips.
Set micro goals to build self-trust.
“Break goals into the smallest possible steps, so small they almost feel too easy,” said Ellen Ottman, founder and licensed therapist at Stillpoint Therapy Collective.
For example, instead of running 10 miles per week, start with putting on your running shoes and walking outside three times a week, as completing even tiny goals triggers dopamine, which boosts both motivation and confidence.
Form connections with like-minded people.
Form connections with other goal-setters who can offer support, encouragement or feedback along the way.
“Achieving something can be lonely,” Moorehead said. “People can diminish the goal if they don’t understand the process, so it can be helpful to receive support from others who are committed to a goal.”
As a way to foster community, join a group of people practicing the same skill or who have already tackled similar goals.
If you falter, reset your resolution and keep going.
Some 92% of people fail to achieve their goals, so if you’ve fallen off track partway through the year, you’re not alone. The good news is that it’s never too late to reset without feeling like you’ve failed.
“Progress rarely happens in straight lines, so the most powerful thing you can do when you lose momentum is to reset with kindness,” Ottman said. “Shame tends to freeze us, while curiosity and self-compassion help us move forward.”
Instead of trying to catch up or scrapping your goal altogether, try reworking it. If your original goal was to read more, make it smaller and more specific, like reading one page a day. “Small, consistent wins rebuild trust and confidence in your ability to follow through,” Ottman said, “creating the true foundation for lasting change.”